Drunk driving probably doesn't count as an acceptable office topic.

~Dear Co-workers,

I'd rather not know that you drive after drinking too much (4 bombays counts as too much, I'm quite convinced). I really rather not hear about it when it happened last weekend. I mistakenly thought people outgrew such poor decision making tendencies.

Love,
M~

~Telemarketers:

Your rudeness and sometimes blatant hostility makes me want to hunt your pitiful self down in your dingy little cubical and help you understand the importance of common human respect and decent manners. Through methods that will guarantee you never, ever forget it.

M~

Tuesday always seem so much more painful than Mondays. I can't figure out this phenom, because they are essentially the same day, except I have to do the mail twice on Monday (that is, Saturdays). I actually spend my day thinking "half way to lunch. Half way through the day. Half way through the afternoon. 14 minutes and 27 seconds left until I can stop working and pretend until I'm free."

However, that lacks intrigue for the common reader, so let's focus on...babies? Facebook? Those were my first two thoughts. I'm not sure what that really says about my current status of mind.

I think I should join Michael Phelps in his extracurricular activities and maybe I'd feel better.